Editor’s note: This is the second part of our conversation with Sister Bao En, who decided to return to China after living overseas for several years. Although many people are currently trying to leave China, she decided God was calling her to return and serve the church in her home country. While there are difficulties and challenges, she says the best place to be is the place where God has called you.
This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity and length.
“Go Back and Share the Gospel”
China Partnership: Why do you think God gave you the responsibility and calling of serving the church in China?
Sister Bao En: I grew up in Beijing and am familiar with that area. Recently, there were great floods in Hebei. I had visited some of the affected places, and have relatives and friends living there. When I saw that situation, I knew many people had lost their homes and lives. I also knew many probably hadn’t heard the gospel. So I felt the need to go back and share the gospel and be with the people there.
Although there are challenges, I don’t think they outweigh God’s calling. If God calls you, the challenges may not be problems, because he is with us.
I started thinking about how to make my decision on whether to return to China or stay in the U.S. I was praying and asked God for guidance. The need is great in China. Our own culture and way of life are more familiar, and I personally feel I belong there. So, in the end, I decided to go back.
Although there are challenges, I don’t think they outweigh God’s calling. If God calls you, the challenges may not be problems, because he is with us. So, I didn’t think about it too much anymore.
“Our Lives Belong to Him”
CP: You have decided to return to China and stay there. How has God blessed you through this calling to return – both the difficulties and the joy?
Sister Bao En: God leads each person differently, but one thing is the same: as God’s children, our lives belong to him, and he is our Lord. So, sometimes we need to resist our own selfishness, our desires. People are naturally drawn to comfort and what they perceive as safety. But we need to pray before God and ask what he wants us to do.
When I prayed to God, he gave me peace. He also helped me with the surrounding circumstances. For example, when I consulted some pastors and my family for their opinions, 99 percent of them thought my decision was right. In the end, I felt, “Okay, this is God speaking to me through these circumstances.”
More importantly, I’m in my mid-50s. I can probably serve God, conservatively speaking, for another 10 or 15 years while I’m still of sound mind. How should I use these 10 or 15 years? How can I make this time count for God?
Never miss a story
I thought, “I don’t want to waste any more time. I don’t want to do things my own way. Whatever God wants me to do, I’ll do it.”
I can probably serve God for another 10 or 15 years while I’m still of sound mind. How should I use these years? How can I make this time count for God?
This might please God, and I will have true peace in my heart. If I make decisions based on my own ideas, sometimes the inner conflict brings me even greater pain. So, I stopped overthinking it and just decided to go for it.
“God Is Bigger than Circumstances”
CP: After living overseas, what are your reflections on the brothers and sisters in China and the Western church?
Sister Bao En: I was nurtured and raised in China. I don’t claim to be able to make better decisions than anyone else. But I see many churches, and many brothers and sisters who are very clear and obedient to God’s calling, serving in their own positions. This is a great encouragement to me, especially when I see many young pastors and co-workers in China who face great challenges in their respective places. But at the same time, they see that God is bigger than these circumstances. When you step into the Red Sea, you experience God’s blessing. I am very grateful for the faithful service before God of these brothers and sisters in China. Their service brings me a lot of encouragement and support.
The Chinese church used to be on the receiving end. But in the future, we hope the Chinese church can grow on its own… We can share our experiences with the Western church, to bless and give back to them.
As for the Western church… based on church history and my current interactions with Western churches and believers, I am very grateful to God for these brothers and sisters. We have received a lot of their service and blessings. Even now, many brothers and sisters in Europe and America pray for us and support our ministry.
I feel the Chinese church used to be on the receiving end. But in the future, we hope the Chinese church can grow on its own. Then we can support each other. We can share our experiences with the Western church, to bless and give back to them. This is my prayer.
Sister Bao En (a pseudonym) lives in a city in southern China. She loves to pray and to share the vision of prayer with others.
Pray that God will empower the Chinese church to continue maturing so she may bless and lead throughout the world.
