Editor’s note: This pastoral letter, from February of this year, encourages and commends believers for the way they have borne up under the outward persecution of recent year. Yet, in the second half, he urges them to take up and bear their “inner” cross: to die to themselves and lay down their lives in their interactions with friends and family. Li reminds his congregation to rely on Christ’s grace, not their own goodness. He also specifically addresses husbands, wives, and parents, calling each group to die to themselves.

Grace-Reliant Hearts

What is the “internal cross”? The internal cross is when we apply the rule of the cross to our daily lives. We follow this rule in every small life choice; relationships with other brothers and sisters and with spouses, parents, and children; and interactions with friends and neighbors. The internal cross is not calculating others’ evil or seeking your own benefit. It is being willing to suffer loss and “go the extra mile,” not complaining or venting, but living out Jesus’s life.

This lesson is one every Christian must master, because the Lord says to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called.” He also says, “For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light.”

The internal cross is when we apply the rule of the cross to our daily lives. We follow this rule in every small life choice; relationships with other brothers and sisters and with spouses, parents, and children; and interactions with friends and neighbors.

Our heart is a battlefield. We need to hide in Christ and look up to the grace of the cross, not only when persecution comes, but also when we face our spouse, parents, and children. If our hearts are not in Christ, we fall into “the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life.” If we do not rely on the grace of the cross, we inevitably fall into the self-boasting of legalism and moralism. We always see the problems of others, but not our own. We easily begin believing our actions are right if they are beneficial, or we fall into worldly, materialistic calculations and forget what is truly important. If we do not rely on grace, we easily fall into the traps of the devil. We believe in conspiracy theories and rumors, neglect details, treat fear and indulgence as love, and more.

We must frequently seek to repent, for within the confines of our own homes, we often harden our hearts. Like Pharaoh, we utter words that wound and perform actions that harm. Even if we refrain from using words to inflict pain, we often resort to icy silence or indifference. This causes immense suffering to our loved ones.

Family Relationships

Husbands: do you notice how you fluctuate emotionally? Even if you haven’t done something outright wrong, consider why your wife bristles with anger. If you begin to implement the “rule of the cross” in your home, you will be observe the rising anger in yourself. When you feel invalidated or affronted, you seek solace in your own virtues, not Christ’s cross.

We must frequently seek to repent, for within the confines of our own homes, we often harden our hearts. Like Pharaoh, we utter words that wound and perform actions that harm.

In your heart, you replay your tireless efforts for your family, the sacrifices you have made for your wife, the price you paid caring for your children. Your anger is kindled. You feel unjustly treated, and find reason to be angry with your “unreasonable” wife. Brother, if you do not view your anger through the lens of the cross and crucify your self-righteousness, you will find yourself ensnared in an unending family war. You will be blind to the pain you inflict upon your wife. You will forever perceive yourself as an innocent victim.

Wives: why is it that, after years of effort, you have made little progress in submitting to your husband? You think you are acting for his benefit, but he defies you, and your relationship is increasingly strained. If you begin to practice the lesson of the internal cross, you will not avoid Christ as you correct your husband. Instead, you will approach Christ before you address the man before you. You will express your deepest sentiments to Jesus. Dear sister, you are incapable of changing your husband. But Christ can. You have tried for many years, why not cease your efforts? The more you love your husband through Christ, accepting and treating him with kindness, the more you see him as a man invigorated by Jesus’s love.

Parents, do you know the journey of raising children is a process of bearing the cross and striving for the gospel? In child-rearing, the most important task is not meeting children’s nutritional or material needs. It is not even teaching them to read the Bible, pray, and attend church. No. The most important task is to guide them away from their own sins, from the deceit of the world, and the devil’s snares in your home and everyday life. Lead them to Christ. Let them acknowledge their sins and understand that Christ has paid the price for them on the cross.

Brothers and sisters, I hope that through these lessons of the internal cross, in the coming year we will learn and grow together in God’s grace.

Do your children witness genuine love in your marriage? Do they see a repentant husband who treasures his wife like a precious gem? Do they see a repentant wife who reveres her husband like a king? Do they see parents seeking God’s forgiveness for their negligence and harm toward their children? Do their parents apologize to their children?

Brothers and sisters, I hope that through these lessons of the internal cross, in the coming year we will learn and grow together in God’s grace. May the Lord Christ, who guides us to learn and grow amidst persecution and tribulation also give us grace and strength. Then we may shed the old self of bitterness, complaint, hard-heartedness and self-righteousness, and put on the new self of gentleness, humility, gratitude, and kindness toward others. May we learn the rule of the cross in both external and internal battles.

Brother Yingqiang, who races toward the goal with you, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

Elder Li Yingqiang is an elder of Early Rain Covenant Church in Chengdu. He and his wife have two children.

Pray for Chinese Christians to die to themselves daily and take up their “internal cross.”