My passion is to walk with other people and be an instrument of healing for other people. I know most Chinese have similar family wounds. That affects their relationship with their spouse, with God, with their children, all of it. I expect God to use it—somewhere.
I realized it is all the Spirit’s work, it has nothing to do with me. But how exciting to be the person, to be the tool, in the middle of this process. I thought, “I can share the gospel with people. God can use me, and it doesn’t have to be too complicated.”
It was a step of faith to decide not to worry about the future, about China. I thought, “God is the ruler of the universe, and he’ll protect me. Christ died for me on the cross. If I don’t receive that gift, that is the ultimate insult to him. How can I not love him?”
As I was searching for my life, I took philosophy classes as an elective. We studied modern philosophy, and they all said there is no purpose to the universe; you must make your own purpose. That depressed me even more. I was seeking, really, for eternal life.
When my mom and dad came to get me after two years, they were like strangers to me. I didn’t know them and called them “uncle” and “auntie.” I still remember leaving on the train with them. I was really excited in the daytime, but when night came, I said, “I want to go home.” Gradually I realized I was not going to go home; the train just kept going.
When we are willing to remove the cultural hindrances, obey God’s teachings, and enforce discipline in the church, we will clean away all the “leaven” from us, so that the church can become a holy offering presented to God.
When I learned that the Son of God died on the cross for me and God was willing to pay such a huge price to save me, I truly experienced forgiveness from God. As a result, I gradually sensed the freedom and liberation in God. I began to appreciate the dignity and glory that God gave to humans along with the authority that God gave to his children.