Editor’s note: Shortly after Covid-19 began to spread across the world, Wu Jinyang, a Chinese missionary serving in eastern Europe, contracted the virus. He eventually died of the virus, leaving behind his wife and young children. His widow and children have now returned to China, where the local Chinese house church supports and cares for them.

Wu grew up in a Buddhist home, and like many other Chinese converts, he did not turn to Jesus the first time he heard of him. Instead, God used several events, over many years, to soften his heart and help him see his need of Christ. After becoming a believer, Wu faithfully served the Chinese church for several years before God called him abroad. His tragic death at an early age is a reminder of how fleeting life is, but also of how God is gracious to allow his children to follow and serve him while we remain on this earth. This testimony, which Wu wrote himself a few years before his death, is a good firsthand account of how God is moving in Chinese lives and of how he is calling people to himself. To protect Wu’s identity and that of his widow and children, some details have been changed or obscured.

This is the second part of his testimony.

Accepting Jesus

After high school, I left behind my relatives and friends and moved to a large city to begin my university life. At that time, I joined a student Christian gathering. I read the Bible, studied, and joined activities with them. I really enjoyed the atmosphere there. In our gatherings, I would argue with these Christians. Every time we parted ways, our faces would be red from arguing.

On Christmas Day, I joined the Christmas service of a local Three-Self seminary. When I heard the speaker talking on stage about people’s sin and helplessness, suddenly, my heart was deeply moved. I began to feel very restless and uncomfortable in my seat. In that moment, my many sins were vivid in my mind. When the speaker on stage called for those who were willing to accept and believe in Jesus that night to raise their hands, my heart began to soften.

I did not want to believe in Jesus. I did not want to become a Christian.

At first, I intentionally suppressed this feeling. I did not want to believe in Jesus. I did not want to become a Christian. But the more I thought this way, the more uncomfortable I became. In that moment, a great struggle happened in my heart. It was as if someone yanked out all my past sins and displayed each of them before the world. I had no choice but to bow my proud head and confess before Christ that I was a sinner. This was an experience I had never had throughout my life.

I saw myself, mired in sin. I also saw Jesus, the Savior, on the cross. With my own eyes I saw the filth of sin. And with my own eyes, I saw the Lord’s blood wash me clean, making me whiter than snow. I saw the Lord Jesus reach out to embrace me with his hands. He told me, “Child, I have long waited here for you. No matter how you were in the past, I fully accept you.”

Christ’s incomparable love conquered me. I was entirely unable to resist. So I raised my right hand, deciding to accept the Lord as my Savior. I opened my mouth and prayed, along with the speaker: “Dear Lord Jesus, I am a sinner. In the past I did not know you. I lived a selfish life by my own flesh. I have sinned against you, and sinned against the friends and family around me. Today I am willing to open the gates of my heart and accept you as the Lord of my life and of my soul. I pray that you forgive all my sins. Protect me, for from now on I am willing to live a victorious and holy Christian life through you. I am willing to offer myself as a living sacrifice. May the Lord use me. In the holy name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.”

This was the first time in my life that I knew myself as a sinner, and the first time I experienced real joy and peace.

After praying and confessing my sins, the burden of those sins lifted. I felt at ease. My heart was filled with joy and peace. This was the first time in my life that I knew myself as a sinner, and the first time I experienced real joy and peace. In the past there may have been some joy and peace, but true joy and peace only came after being saved. When I returned to the dorm that night, I felt as if I saw light. I did not know where I was or what I was searching for, but the Lord said to me, “I am the way and the truth and the life.”

Restored Relationships

After believing in the Lord, I especially began to pray for the relationship between my family and my uncle’s family. Every time I called my parents, I would also call my uncle’s family. But whenever they heard my voice, they would hang up. Not only that, but when I would approach and greet them when we crossed paths, they always walked away, pretending not to have heard me.

Every time I went home, I took the initiative and went to visit my uncle’s family as well. But every time my uncle’s wife saw me, she would slam the door. This continued for three years. I do not remember how many times they hung up the phone on me or how many times I was shut out by their door. During this time, my mother often mocked me: They ignore you! But you, useless thing, keep chasing after their cold bottoms with your hot face!”[1]

But in Romans 12:18, God says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” And Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” These two verses comforted and motivated me.

God not only restored the relationship between me and my uncle’s family, but he restored the relationship that had been so hardened between the two families for 25 years.

Thanks be to God, he truly allowed me to see a miracle. In March, about four years after I became a Christian, my uncle began actually answering my phone calls. Later, he even invited me to my cousin’s wedding. In the following three years, God not only restored the relationship between me and my uncle’s family, but he restored the relationship that had been so hardened between the two families for 25 years.

God entirely turned my thinking around and fundamentally changed me so that my many negative and extreme thoughts of the past turned to nothing. At the same time, God brought me beautiful hope, so my entire person lived in God’s presence and in his joy.

[1] “热脸贴冷屁股” is a Chinese idiom that refers to someone who is snubbed despite their good intentions.

Wu Jinyang is a pseudonym for a deceased Chinese pastor and missionary who served in eastern Europe.

Pray for God to grant more families his reconciliation and peace in difficult relationships.