Across Borders

Editor’s note: This summer we are digging through our archives and re-posting some of our favorite stories from the last nine years of the CP blog. We start today with this 2015 article from an ethnically Chinese man born in Scotland, who — to his great surprise — found himself working with Mainland Chinese in the U.K. As he wrestled with his own identity, he realized his true identity is found in Christ, not in his ethnicity or nationality. That realization freed him to use his life to serve God with all the unique joys and challenges of how God created him.


Identity Crisis

“You’re so weird!” This isn’t a comment I am unfamiliar with, but in this context it caught me by surprise. “Why?” I asked. “You’re Scottish and you’re Chinese!” was the follow up. I guess I had always known this is a bit of a weird combination, but sitting with a French-speaking, Canadian-born, Chinese girl and a Spanish-speaking, Honduran-born, Chinese girl I definitely felt like I was the least weird. We had a good laugh, but didn’t come to a consensus on who actually was the most weird out of the three of us.

Growing up in Scotland, one phrase I often heard my parents talking about was “identity crisis.” As they talked with their friends it was clear they were worried about whether their kids would suffer from an identity crisis of not knowing where home really was, of not knowing who we really were. Would we appeal to our nationality or to our ethnicity?

““If I was God, I would be the last person I would choose to teach the Bible in Mandarin to Chinese people. I think my parents would wholeheartedly agree!”

If I’m honest, those sorts of questions were really easy for me to answer while growing up. I had no identity crisis. I was definitely Scottish and proud of it. I was kilt-wearing and English-hating just like the rest of my friends! Scotland was my home. Despite being repeatedly told that I was Chinese, despite having to go to Chinese school on Saturdays when all my friends were out having fun, despite being told that we must speak Chinese when at home, I didn’t grow up considering myself Chinese at all.

Being part of a Chinese church did not help me feel Chinese either. If anything, it skewed my understanding of Christianity, as I grew up thinking only Chinese people were Christians! Church was also where I first encountered Mainland Chinese. My siblings and I used to look down on the Mainland Chinese scholars who came to visit the church and our home. They seemed so different to us. Different manners, different dress, different language. When I left Scotland to go to university, one of the things I was most looking forward to was being able to go to a non-Chinese church!

Looking back, if I was God, I would be the last person I would choose to teach the Bible in Mandarin to Chinese people. I think my parents would wholeheartedly agree! So how did I actually end up in this position?

For the Sake of the Gospel

University was a life-changing time for me. Firstly and most importantly, it was during this time that I learned what my real identity was. Going to a Bible-teaching church and having a couple of older Christian men read the Bible one-to-one with me really helped me get clear on the gospel. As I got clear on the gospel, I became much clearer on my identity. I began to grasp that if I followed Jesus Christ as my Lord, then being a Christian was my primary identity. Being ethnically Chinese or nationally Scottish wasn’t how I should define myself.

Secondly, my time at university helped me begin to feel really Chinese and see the opportunity to share the gospel with Chinese people. University was the first time that I met Mainland Chinese who were my own age. In fact, my first conversation with a Mainland Chinese guy ended up with me explaining the gospel. He had been given a Bible by his English teacher in Beijing and wanted someone to explain it to him. As I got to know him better, I realized that he wasn’t that different to me. We were on the same course, we liked watching football together, and we even liked the same music. This really challenged my attitude to people from Mainland China.

““As I got clear on the gospel, I became much clearer on my identity. I began to grasp that if I followed Jesus Christ as my Lord, then being a Christian was my primary identity.”

That summer I signed up for a short-term English teaching trip to Chengdu, and my understanding of my own identity was transformed. Being accepted by the students as one of their own, enjoying some spectacular food, and not being looked at as a foreigner (like the rest of my team) really helped me to feel more Chinese than ever before. What frustrated me about the trip was my inability to explain the gospel to my students in Chinese.


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On my return from China, I signed up to study Mandarin and was involved for the rest of my time at university with reaching international students with the gospel. I felt more committed than ever before to making Jesus known to Mainland Chinese.

Moving away from university to start my first job seemed to take me away from work with Chinese people, but to my surprise I discovered that my church, despite not being a Chinese church, had a dedicated ministry to Mainland Chinese. This gave me the opportunity to lead a Bible study group in Mandarin for the first time in my life – probably the most painful thing I have ever done! Then having the opportunity to preach in Mandarin really opened my eyes to the possibility of spending my life teaching the Bible to Chinese people.

Around this time, I was strongly encouraged by church leaders to consider how I could maximize the resources God had given me for the sake of the gospel. I was quickly convicted both of the lack of Bible teachers across the world and of the opportunity I had as a Scottish-born Chinese to teach the Bible to Mainland Chinese here in the UK. I ended up deciding to leave my job to spend a few years training in how to understand and teach the Bible.

Found In Christ

Since then, I have been involved with teaching the Bible, primarily in Mandarin, to Mainland Chinese working in the UK. Our prayer is to see Mainland Chinese reached with the good news of Jesus Christ, built up in their faith, and sent out as gospel partners, whether in the U.K. or back to China. We have been given such a wonderful opportunity to train leaders for the church in China while they are in the U.K. for a few years.

Over the years, it has been a real joy to see how God has been at work in the lives of Chinese men and women in the U.K. Seeing people become Christians and then grow in their understanding of the gospel such that they are able to teach and disciple others is a privilege!

On a personal level, I’ve found that being ethnically Chinese has certainly helped build rapport with Chinese people quickly. Despite growing up in the U.K., I’ve found that since my parents held tightly to Chinese culture and values, I have many similar experiences to the people I meet.

But whilst there have been many highlights, being ethnically Chinese has brought about personal challenges, too. In my experience, I’ve found that Chinese people seem to be less forgiving of my language ability given I am Chinese-looking. This puts an added pressure on sermon and Bible study preparation. Some days I will find myself thinking, “Wouldn’t it be much easier, quicker, and clearer if I just taught the Bible in English?” It’s a challenge to remind myself that the power is in the word of God and the Holy Spirit’s work, and not in my own ability!

““The Lord taught me that my identity is found in Christ, not in ethnicity or nationality. The call of Jesus is to maximize the gifts he has given me for the sake of the gospel.”

Over the years, I have gradually come to accept that I will never be totally accepted as an insider. Despite looking Chinese and being born into a fairly traditional Chinese family, the fact that I am in so many ways Scottish is strange and makes me different. This will often feel uncomfortable, but what helps me to persevere is asking myself, “How can I maximize the resources God has given me for the sake of the gospel?” The reality is, even if I will never be an insider and even if my language will never be flawless, there are not many people being trained to teach the Bible faithfully in Mandarin to Chinese people.

“You’re so weird! You’re Scottish and you’re Chinese!” It really is a strange combination, and it hasn’t been easy to come to terms with. But from not feeling Chinese at all and wanting to run away from the Chinese church, I find myself now committing my life to serving Chinese people by teaching them of the Lord Jesus. Why? Because the Lord taught me that my identity is found in Christ, not in ethnicity or nationality. The call of Jesus is to maximize the gifts he has given me for the sake of the gospel.


Joe Pan has extensive experience ministering to Chinese nationals in the United Kingdom and Asia.

 

FOR PRAYER AND REFLECTION

Pray for the Lord to help all believers understand their true identity is found in Christ, and to use the gifts he has given them for the sake of the gospel.

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Further Reading

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The Internal Cross: A Pastoral Letter
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The External Cross: A Pastoral Letter
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Qingdao: How to Pray
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LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT IN CHINA

With rising pressure and persecution in China, there are two challenges imperative for church leaders. The first challenge is for current leaders to love Christ above all else, and not to stray into legalism or love of the world. The second challenge is to raise up the next generation of leaders, who will humbly model Jesus even if current leaders are arrested.

WILL YOU JOIN US IN PRAYING FOR LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT IN CHINA? PRAY FOR:

  1. Current leaders to grow in their daily walks with Christ
  2. Current leaders to shepherd and raise up new leaders
  3. New leaders who love Christ and will model him to the world
  4. New leaders to love and care for the church

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ABOUT LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT

About Shenyang

Shenyang is a city located in northeastern China and is the capital of Liaoning Province. It is known for its rich history and cultural heritage, including the Shenyang Imperial Palace, which is a UNESCO World Heritage site. Shenyang is also a hub for China’s heavy industry, with companies such as the China First Automobile Group and the Shenyang Aircraft Corporation having their headquarters in the city.

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About Qingdao

Qingdao is a city located in eastern China and is famous for its beaches, beer, and seafood. The city is home to several landmarks, including the Zhanqiao Pier and the Badaguan Scenic Area. Qingdao is also a major port and has a thriving economy, with industries such as electronics, petrochemicals, and machinery.

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About Xiamen

Xiamen is a city located in southeastern China and is a popular tourist destination known for its beautiful coastal scenery, including Gulangyu Island, which is a UNESCO World Heritage site. The city is also a hub for China’s high-tech industry, with companies such as Huawei and ZTE having research and development centers in Xiamen.

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About Chongqing

Chongqing is a city located in southwestern China and is a major economic center in the region. The city is known for its spicy cuisine, especially its hot pot dishes, and is also famous for the Three Gorges Dam, the world’s largest hydroelectric dam. Chongqing is also home to several historic sites, including the Dazu Rock Carvings, which are UNESCO World Heritage sites.

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About Nanjing

Nanjing is a city located in eastern China and is the capital of Jiangsu Province. It is one of China’s ancient capitals and has a rich cultural history, including the Ming Xiaoling Mausoleum, the Nanjing City Wall, and the Confucius Temple. Nanjing is also a modern city with a thriving economy and is home to several universities, including Nanjing University and Southeast University.

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About Changchun

Changchun is a city located in northeastern China and is the capital of Jilin Province. It is known for its rich cultural heritage and is home to several historical landmarks such as the Puppet Emperor’s Palace and the Jingyuetan National Forest Park. Changchun is also a hub for China’s automotive industry, with several major automobile manufacturers having their headquarters in the city.

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About Guangzhou

Guangzhou, also known as Canton, is a city located in southern China and is the capital of Guangdong Province. It is one of the country’s largest and most prosperous cities, serving as a major transportation and trading hub for the region. Guangzhou is renowned for its modern architecture, including the Canton Tower and the Guangzhou Opera House, as well as its Cantonese cuisine, which is famous for its variety and bold flavors. The city also has a rich history, with landmarks such as the Chen Clan Ancestral Hall, the Sun Yat-sen Memorial Hall, and the Temple of the Six Banyan Trees. Additionally, Guangzhou hosts the annual Canton Fair, the largest trade fair in China.

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About Kunming

Kunming is a city located in southwest China and is the capital of Yunnan Province. Known as the “City of Eternal Spring” for its mild climate, Kunming is a popular tourist destination due to its natural beauty and cultural diversity. The city is home to several scenic spots, including the UNESCO World Heritage Site of the Stone Forest, Dian Lake, and the Western Hills. Kunming is also famous for its unique cuisine, which features a mix of Han, Yi, and Bai ethnic flavors. The city has a rich cultural history, with ancient temples and shrines like the Yuantong Temple and the Golden Temple, and it’s also a hub for Yunnan’s ethnic minority cultures, such as the Yi and Bai peoples.

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About Shenzhen

Shenzhen is a city located in southeastern China and is one of the country’s fastest-growing metropolises. The city is renowned for its thriving tech industry, with companies such as Huawei, Tencent, and DJI having their headquarters in Shenzhen. The city also has a vibrant cultural scene, with numerous museums, art galleries, and parks. Shenzhen is also known for its modern architecture, such as the Ping An Finance Center and the Shenzhen Bay Sports Center. Despite its modernization, Shenzhen also has a rich history and cultural heritage, with landmarks such as the Dapeng Fortress and the Chiwan Tin Hau Temple.

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About Chengdu

Chengdu is a city located in the southwestern region of China, and the capital of Sichuan province. It has a population of over 18 million people, and it is famous for its spicy Sichuan cuisine, laid-back lifestyle, and its cute and cuddly residents – the giant pandas. Chengdu is home to the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding, where visitors can observe these adorable creatures in their natural habitat. The city also boasts a rich cultural heritage, with numerous temples, museums, and historical sites scattered throughout its boundaries. Chengdu is a city of contrasts, with ancient traditions coexisting alongside modern developments, making it an intriguing and fascinating destination for visitors to China. 

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About Beijing

Beijing is the capital city of China and one of the most populous cities in the world, with a population of over 21 million people. The city has a rich history that spans over 3,000 years, and it has served as the capital of various dynasties throughout China’s history. Beijing is home to some of the most iconic landmarks in China, including the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, and the Temple of Heaven. The city is also a hub for political, cultural, and educational activities, with numerous universities and research institutions located within its boundaries. Beijing is renowned for its traditional architecture, rich cuisine, and vibrant cultural scene, making it a must-visit destination for travelers to China.

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About Shanghai

Shanghai is a vibrant and dynamic city located on the eastern coast of China. It is the largest city in China and one of the most populous cities in the world, with a population of over 24 million people. Shanghai is a global financial hub and a major center for international trade, with a rich history and culture that spans over 1,000 years. The city is famous for its iconic skyline, which features towering skyscrapers such as the Oriental Pearl Tower and the Shanghai Tower. Shanghai is also home to a diverse culinary scene, world-class museums and art galleries, and numerous shopping districts. It is a city that is constantly evolving and reinventing itself, making it a fascinating destination for visitors from around the world.

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