Editor’s note: This January and February, we are spending a few months praying for the persecuted church in China. In this interview, a Chinese pastor shares how he experienced God’s grace and mercy through his years in jail, and how God blessed him through his persecution.
Connection in Persecution
China Partnership: Tell us about the situation for house churches in your city. What kind of persecution and pressure are you facing right now?
Preacher Du: In our city, we connect with about a dozen churches. Before this recent wave of persecution, we were already connected with churches in our district. We had started a gospel center, and had a church network for prayer and mutual support. We’d meet with others to study Scripture and pray.
After this crackdown and persecution – after I got out of prison – I was struck by how crucial this is. I reflected and prayed a lot while I was in prison. The more persecution there is, the more vital it is for believers to be connected in Christ.
For example, right now we know of an area church that is being persecuted. Unfortunately, they hadn’t connected with other churches in normal times. We wanted to visit and care for them when we heard about their situation, but we had to way to reach them. We couldn’t even go to see them.
After I got out, I talked to another sister and we agreed that we really need to rebuild this local prayer network. When I came out, one of the first things I wanted to do was to re-establish a united prayer fellowship. We’ve re-started the group, and now we have about seven or eight churches that participate regularly.
As for my own local church, my case was officially closed when I got out of prison last spring after two years. We have heard rumors of pressure and persecution for other churches in our area. For example, one church has faced a lot of “hidden” pressure and disruptions. The upshot is that they can no longer meet at their original location, so they’ve had to scatter and rent new places.
We also just heard that another local church was raided, and their preacher and deacons were arrested. They’ve already been detained a couple months. The main pressure we face right now in matters of faith comes from political pressure. But besides politics, there’s also internal pressure – stress over things like models of church governance, church structures, and instability among co-workers. Some preachers or church leaders have left the country for various reasons. Other things also happen, and the church can become unstable. We’ve connected with about a dozen churches that are all working to support one another, but there are others who are not connected.
A Refining Period
CP: What impact has the persecution had on you, your family, and your church?
Preacher Du: Our persecution was a political crackdown, specifically targeting our church. The real reason was Christian education. Our church began Christian education more than 15 years ago, and they’ve been watching us closely. Even before this, there were periodic raids and disruptions. Some years ago they raided and intimidated us with assault rifles! Their goal is to stop us from doing education, or, if we insist, to break us apart.
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For me personally, this has been an important trial for my life, my family, and my own spiritual walk.
I thought about my family: my parents, and especially my mother, whose health is poor. If I was in prison that long, I feared I might never see my parents again. We also had a teenager at home
The two years I spent in jail were a refining and training period. In a way, God gave me a time of rest. I had been serving for 10 years without truly resting, but inside, God gave me an opportunity to rest.
Also, right before the case, I was about to be ordained. When the case began, that didn’t happen. Looking back, I realized that God gave me a special grace, one last class, a training in suffering. After I came out of prison, the church quickly arranged the ordination. They told me, “You’ve completed the course.”
I’m grateful that God trained me through this. During those two years, I came to know myself – especially my weaknesses – more deeply. I had been a believer for many years, and a full-time preacher for 10. But when you go through a trial like this, you realize how weak you are.
God’s Grace in Uncertainty
The uncertainty the first year was brutal. The case dragged on and on. We didn’t go to court until I’d already been detained for more than a year. That season was extremely hard, because you don’t know how long they’ll sentence you. I experienced a lot of weakness. My emotions would swing from discouragement, to sadness, to worries about my family. My faith life went through peaks and valleys, and I kept wrestling with God in prayer.
I became convinced that, although they might want to destroy me in sentencing me to that long, if God didn’t permit it, they could not do it. In the end, God is the One who rules. And, if God truly were to have me endure five to seven years, he would give me the grace and strength to endure it.
At first, I prayed hard that this would only be 30 days in prison. God didn’t answer that prayer, and I realized that God wanted me to accept something long-term, not short-term. I said, “Lord, if it’s one year, I can probably endure it. Even better if it’s six months.” I kept praying: “Please don’t let me suffer too long – I can’t handle it. My family may not be able to bear it, either.”
After more than half a year, we received the indictment. When I saw it, I felt like I collapsed. The description said the charges were “especially serious,” and it was implied that I could be sentenced to five to seven years. I was stunned, almost shattered. I told God, “Lord, this is too big of a joke. I can’t bear it!” I was terrified, and deeply anxious. How could I endure that long?
I thought about my family: my parents, and especially my mother, whose health is poor. If I was in prison that long, I feared I might never see my parents again. We also had a teenager at home; my younger child was just at the brink of adolescence. When I saw the indictment, I was truly afraid, and very distressed. I kept praying, “God, please don’t require me to bear a suffering I can’t handle.”
I struggled like that for several weeks. Later, as I met with my lawyer and remembered God’s word, things began to shift. I especially remembered 1 Cor. 10:13, which says: “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
There was no Bible in prison, so all I could do was meditate on whatever Scripture I could still remember from before. I recalled it, and turned it over in my heart.
I became convinced that, although they might want to destroy me in sentencing me to that long, if God didn’t permit it, they could not do it. In the end, God is the One who rules. And, if God truly were to have me endure five to seven years, he would give me the grace and strength to endure it. God would guard and keep my family, too, and enable them to bear it. This brought real comfort and encouragement.
There was no Bible in prison, so all I could do was meditate on whatever Scripture I could still remember from before. I recalled it, and turned it over in my heart. At crucial moments, God’s word comforted me and carried me through the hardest places.
Personally, this experience taught me about my weakness, and God’s power. I truly could not make it on my own. But God has grace and power. He is righteous and sovereign.
Du Liang is a pseudonym for a house church pastor in southern China.
Pray for Chinese Christians to experience God’s grace and mercy when they suffer for their faith.
