My passion is to walk with other people and be an instrument of healing for other people. I know most Chinese have similar family wounds. That affects their relationship with their spouse, with God, with their children, all of it. I expect God to use it—somewhere.
I realized it is all the Spirit’s work, it has nothing to do with me. But how exciting to be the person, to be the tool, in the middle of this process. I thought, “I can share the gospel with people. God can use me, and it doesn’t have to be too complicated.”
It was a step of faith to decide not to worry about the future, about China. I thought, “God is the ruler of the universe, and he’ll protect me. Christ died for me on the cross. If I don’t receive that gift, that is the ultimate insult to him. How can I not love him?”
As I was searching for my life, I took philosophy classes as an elective. We studied modern philosophy, and they all said there is no purpose to the universe; you must make your own purpose. That depressed me even more. I was seeking, really, for eternal life.